Depression and Anxiety are real: Time to move past the age of denialism and accept our mental states for solutions
Hard to believe , but the truth is we all have at some point or the other in our lifetime, met, confronted, or just brushed pass across depression and anxiety. What’s different is the magnitude and scope, how we deal and cope with that is often a matter of our grit, resilience, our upbringing and the environment we live in , but many a times it has got nothing to do with it. I’ve personally seen a lot of people fail and succumb to the monster, despite having a strong support system and a deeply rooted and secure childhood, so there is no hard and fast rule on this.
While depression can affect male, female, children or anyone in general, but like in any other sphere of life, there is a gender gap here too, quite contrarily women are higher up on the ladder here, statistically women are at the core of the problem, studies conducted by Harvard Medical Health show that women are twice as likely as men to develop the mental disorder.
The underlying reasons could be hormonal changes in women at different stages of her life , one most commonly encountered one, which even I have been a victim of , is postpartum depression. But this isn’t the only cause, other factors like trivialising our own selves and not taking proper care of our well being is also a major factor in increased disorder rate in women. Women, by and large, have the problem of internalising their trials and tribulations, not discussing and seeking help and support , they are so absorbed in their maternal responsibilities that they often fail to understand that the most critical thing for a healthy child and family, is the well being of the caregiver.
So the first step in fighting depression and anxiety is accepting that it is real and not an illusion. YES even the most happy, chirpy and enthusiastic people you meet might be struggling with it. The COVID 19 and the current unprecedented times has made us all , especially women, more vulnerable to mental disorders – anxieties about kids online schooling, keeping them engaged all the time, dealing with their sometimes unacceptable and unanticipated behaviors (they too are struggling just like you), disrupted rhythms, moods and tantrums ,topping all the other major challenges of the pandemic (losing a loved one, job loss, no socialising due to lock down and a general panic mode activated all around). Not just these, the pandemic has exacerbated the already unaddressed anxieties and fears that we as women deal on a regular basis.
There is no ‘one size fit all’ solution to anxieties and depression, we all are different and hence the coping mechanism is also unique for each one of us. For some it’s important to have a community , a tribe of like minded people, where you can speak out and get your concerns addressed, just a little bit of being heard and understood can go miles in overcoming depression and anxiety, but unlike this a lot many will need a more professional and structured help, be it consulting a psychiatrist, therapist or a life coach. Other than that, it’s very important to have a strong and a supportive domestic atmosphere, (but to our dismay this pandemic has also exposed and exhibited the reality of domestic violence women are subjected to).
If there is one silver lining to all that’s happening around us, it’s the demolition of the prevalent notion of ‘absolute self reliance’, we plan all the time – our goals, milestones, to do lists ,short term and long term everything, we think that we are the lone creators and in charge of our destinies, everything is in our own hands, this overwhelming feeling of being responsible for every single thing around is causing more mental disorders in contemporary times. So we needed to know that in the end everything boils down to the will of Allah SWT (and that’s exactly what this pandemic has taught us), and as a believer our job is to first have faith (tawakkul) in Allah , and then couple it with our best efforts ,not the other way around. With this approach there is such a shift and ease in the mental burden of having to do it all by yourself. So have faith , trust in Allah and keep persevering, for indeed this Dunya is a testing ground right from the beginning ,and eternal bliss is guaranteed only in Jannah.
For more information on Depression and anxiety, tune in to this weeks informative podcast Monday Musings- Season 2 where Iroda Ahmed, Iram Bint Safiya and Farah Halabi discuss the topic, its causes and bring powerful solutions to the table.
By Lubna.
