When a child feels loved….
The following story is narrated by Eric Butterworth.
A college professor had his sociology class go into the Baltimore slums to get case stories of 200 young boys. They were asked to write an evaluation of each boy’s future. In every case, the students wrote, “He hasn’t got a chance.” Twenty-five years later another sociology professor came across the earlier study. He had his students follow up on the project to see what had happened to these boys. With the exception of 20 boys who had moved away or died, the students learned that 176 of the remaining 180 has achieved more than ordinary success as lawyers, doctors and businessmen.
The professor was astounded and decided to pursue the matter further. Fortunately, all the men were in the area and he was able to ask each one “How do you account for your success?” In each case, the reply came with a feeling “There was a teacher.”
The teacher was still alive, so he sought her out and asked the old but still alert lady what magic formula she had used to pull these boys out of the slums into successful achievement. The teacher’s eyes sparkled and her lips broke into a gentle smile. “It’s really very simple,” she said. “I just loved those boys.” (Chicken Soup for the Soul)
When I started reading the story, I knew the teacher’s response before reaching the end. And I was left with a number of questions niggling my mind. Surely, I love my children, however, do I communicate this love in a way that makes sense to them? When they fall into errors, do I speak to them in a way that lifts their spirit or do I crush them to the ground with “You are so dumb!” or “You are so lazy!”?
Every child is one adult away from achieving their true potential. One adult- a parent, a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle or a loving teacher- one adult who can love them unconditionally. One adult who can love them wholesomely. One adult who chooses to respond when they make mistakes. Despite being a very patient teacher, I am rather impatient as a mother. However, I can only but try to respond as much as I can, as often as I can. Try now, try today, try in this very moment.
May Allah grant us all mothers patience and wisdom to respond to our children’s faults, shortcomings and mistakes more often, Ameen.
