Muslim Myths about Mental Health
I’ve recently read Dr. Gabor Mates’s awesome book When The Body Says No. A while ago I read Kelly McGonigal’s The Upside of Stress, why it’s good for us, and how to get good at it. And last night I was reviewing my notes from Professor Malik Badri’s Contemplation book. Which inspired me to write this blog post about some myths we Muslims hold when it comes to mental health issues.
After years of reading and studying about stress, anxiety and depression here are the things I have come to conclusion about human emotions. Emotions are everything! Emotions are the messengers. They’re there to tell you something about yourself. They’re there to make you slow down, pause, notice, and get inquisitive. They’re there to tell you to make new decisions, to take action and make some changes in your life. There’s running away from emotions for it would be running away from yourself – none can do that.
When you’re sad, you just have to be there, sit with your sadness, embrace it rather than try to skip it. And then contemplate – what’s making you sad? Who’s making you sad? What situation or event made you sad? Get curious compassionately and ask yourself – what can you do differently now? What needs changing? What decision is to be made? What action can be taken as a result?
Most of us grew up in households where emotions weren’t a thing talked about. They were often dismissed and not acknowledged. Even now, I have adults who tell me that as long as we read Qur’an, pray salah regularly and do our daily adhkaar- everything will be well. Surely, spiritual acts help you overcome negative feelings, but you still have to sort out that relationship breakdowns, that impulsive behaviour with your kids, that problem at work, grieve the loss or separation of a loved one etc. It’s important to know what you feel when and then how to go about it.
Do you know what’s healthy anger and what’s unhealthy anger? Do you know what’s healthy stress and at what point it ruins your health? Do you know how to grieve without destroying your health? How to cope with separation anxiety?
Because we Muslims brush off emotional talks under the carpet all the time, we don’t even have the lingua. As a result, we have many Muslims who pray and read Qur’an and still secretly battling mental health issues. Here are some myths about anxiety and depression.
•Depression isn’t another word for sadness – depressed people get caught up in the cycle of sadness for two months at a time up to two years.
•You’re depressed – you’re a mentally weak person! Depression can affect even strongest of minds.
•You have a weak Imaan – read Qur’an and pray your salah. Mental health doesn’t equal low spirituality – there can be social, cultural, and multi-generational factors.
•There’s no traumatic incident in my life – why am I depressed? Yes major life events such having a baby, losing a loved one, getting divorced or separated, moving a house or accidents sometimes can trigger depression. But most people get depressed for no apparent reasons too – there’s no external reason to put a finger on.
•Oh it’s all in your head – no. It’s not. Depression is gently telling you make yourself a priority and do the inner work. Pay attention to yourself, get to know yourself, love and respect yourself. From there onwards, your relationship with Allah will strengthen and everything will fall into place, inshaAllah
•Talking about it will only make it worse – you need to seek help. Self-isolating will only make it worse
•All you need is an anti-depressant – you still have to resolve that relationship breakdown, you still have to work on that problem, you still have to look around and fix things. Medication alone won’t help much
•You’re now stuck with medications for life – a myth. Period.
•Depression is a life sentence to misery- another myth. It’s temporary. It will end, it will go away. Nothing is permanent and will never be.
